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Reasons Not To Attend Law School

This is a great list that originally appeared in the neat blog H Luiz Presents. While it may make you laugh, the fact is that there’s a lot of truth and wisdom here, maybe enough to discourage some people from attending law school.

Proceed with caution!

The Top Eight Reasons to NOT go to Law School

1. FINANCIAL SUICIDE -

Law school is unjustifiably expensive!! If you have a house – sell it; if you have children – sell them (but try to buy them back later – you’re not going to have time for them anyway so let someone else raise them – but do sell them. The money spent on law school loans is ridiculous, so sell something (or some kids) first, and then get a loan for the rest. F*ck what you heard about how much money you’re going to make when you pass the bar in 3 to 4 years – you’re going to need at least 12 years of paying off that loan.

2. IF YOU’RE A CREATIVE PERSON, FORGET IT -

Law School will suck the creativity out of you. Law school is designed to make you a logical, stringent person who can quickly analyze any situation. There’s no room for creativity. Imagination? Imagination is for artists, chefs, bloggers, children, writers, Entrepreneurs, happy people – not lawyers. (Maybe I should rethink all this, huh?)

3. THE “BREAKUP” RATE IS NEARLY 80% -

If you are married, have a partner, or a live-in relationship – it’s over! (Only 19% of Law Students retain their relationships during Law School.) There’s no time for being social – no time for family, making love, burping a small child, there’s not even time for dinner! Plus, you won’t meet anyone new at school – your new friends and classmates will live in the library and will not find much time away from their books to even remember you by the fourth class of the day.

4. THE BAR EXAM IS BRUTAL -

This exam is 2 to 3 days long, and you are asked “Analytical Reasoning Questions” which is a fancy way of saying “You will never be asked these nonsensical nonsense questions again for the rest of your life” questions. They ask you a bunch of other crap, but the question on your mind will be, “Why did I decide to do this bullsh*t?” You will study like an animal for three months, only surfacing from your dungeon to eat and feel some sunlight on your face for one insane exam. Plus, if you fail (nearly 50% of us will – well, actually around 43% overall will fail, but that’s a lot!!) you have the option of torturing yourself for the next 6 months to take the exam again. In New York, they actually setup triage medical stations and have squads of ambulance (motors running) ready to separate the strong from the weak.

5. TOP JOBS ARE HARD TO COME BY-

Working at the top law firms is one of the most competitive jobs in the entire country – especially New York (damn, do I need to move…again?) Don’t forget, you need to be in the top 20 LAW SCHOOLS and score in the top 5% for these big-wig top law firms to even look at you.

6. INSANE HOURS -

Practicing law is usually a 70 hour work week for budding lawyers fresh out of school. Prepare to spend all your nights in the office – weekends and holidays as well. Primarily, you’ll be doing EVERYTHING and handing off huge case files for the “real” lawyers at the firm (that’s right, all the work – none of the glory.) Average time spent before becoming managing partner? Approximately 22 years from your start date. OUCH!!

7. LAW PROFESSORS ARE A-HOLES -

Law school professors are some of the most pretentious and arrogant people on this earth. They know everything about everything. In office hours you will find yourself thinking that God is talking to you and then you will realize it is your criminal law professor engaged in some diatribe about Moses. What does this have to do with Law? Nothing! But can you stop him from speaking…NO! Your grade depends on it!

8. HARASSMENT -

Just because you are attending Law School, your entire family and friends (some neighbors too) will ask you for all kinds of legal advice. When you tell them you can’t dispense any advice, because you are NOT a lawyer, they’ll look at you and say, “Then the advice should be free!” Uhm…What???

Think before you “think” that you want to become a lawyer – it’s gruelling. Do not get caught-up with these pretty perfect size 6 lawyers or expensive fitted suit on gym-bodies you see on television. The reality is; it’s a difficult path during the process of attending law school and an even more difficult process “staying on” the path once started.

THINK TWICE, then THINK again.


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